Tag Archives: self esteem

Self-Esteem in Couples

One of the best ways to build esteem in each other in a committed relationship is through acceptance.  Accepting who your partner is at their core, in their character and history.  The events that shaped them and their feelings about those events.  Acceptance is not passive but active.  Acceptance is taking the simple positives of our partner and highlighting them in kind ways both privately and publicly.  It means being constantly curious about what made them who they are and expressing that in happy ways.  Recently one of my daughters (aged 6) said, “I can’t wait for Mommy to get home, I’m going to paint with her!”  I responded, “You’re excited!  Yeah, Mommy is great at crafts, she loves it.”  My wife’s sister had shared with me some time earlier that Jill loved crafts as a little girl.  I am learning to roll with the enormous mess that comes with creativity in our house and knowing Jill’s love for this art gives me an opportunity support her as well as esteem her in front of our children.  I hope I also showed esteem in receiving what her sister shared with me and taking interest.  How we talk about our partners is extremely important to our children. Continue Reading

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Our Self-Esteem as Parents

In my earlier post I talked about building up self-esteem in our children, today I want to focus on us as parents.  So, how are you doing today?  On a scale of 1-10 (10 being highest) how would you rate your own self-esteem as a parent?  For many of us I can anticipate the blank stare off into space… with visions of laundry, bills, and to-do lists dancing around in our heads.  There’s just no room for thinking about self-esteem.  Wherever you are right now, take a deeeep breath, relax the tension in your body for just a moment.  Have you thought about your self-esteem today?  What have you done that might build up your own self-esteem?  Yes, you’re normal.  For many parents we focus on building up our kids and leave the last if any for ourselves.  And sometimes even less for our partners (more on that in my next post this Friday).  But what we can do for ourselves is not just important for us but for those around us – how we feel about ourselves directly affects all our relationships.  The same simple steps for building esteem in our kids applies to us parents too… Noticing, Tone, and Belief. Continue Reading

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Building Self-Esteem in Children

Here’s the main deal:  Because life is a series of small, incremental steps, attempts, and tries – self-esteem is built up or torn down the same way.  As parents we sometimes make the mistake of thinking that it’s the big events that can get our children ahead in the esteem curve.  Or, if our kids could just learn the big lessons in life, then that would help them too.  While the big events in life are important, as well as the lessons, children are better acquainted with normal and daily experiences – and it is our response to them that seems to matter. Continue Reading

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