Author Archives: Dean Wisdom

Feeling Alone as a Parent? Here’s What to Do

Parenting is not easy and as we answer the demands, cries, and needs of our children we can be unaware that we are suddenly feeling alone in our parenting role.  This can be more difficult when we feel disconnected from our partner or even ourselves and significant friends.  When left unchecked, isolation in parenting can lead to burn-out, exhaustion, and difficulty regulating our own emotions.  Parents can become aware of isolating feelings by recognizing these important warning signs. Continue Reading

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Understanding a Child’s World

Sandcastle Gulf Shores, AL, Dean Wisdom 2014

I love children’s sandcastles.  I took this picture on a sunset stroll with two of my daughters on a family vacation in Gulf Shores, AL.  We spent several days just hanging out on the beach and doing fun stuff.  A beach draws a lot of families because parents can get some sun while kids play right in front of them.  Kids get lost in building sand castles, finding shells, and swimming.  This sand castle drew our attention.

Children don’t have the cognitive development like adults yet to talk about what’s going on for them so instead they play out their many thoughts and feelings.  This can be frustrating for us parents because our kids act and react sometimes in ways that we don’t understand.  This causes us to react in ways that later we regret or just feel like we missed the mark. Continue Reading

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“Daddy, how fat is the Bible?”

I knew we were in trouble when I heard her question.  It was dinner, we were all together at home eating the assortment of baked chicken, spaghetti, raw carrots and ranch sauce, pizza, sweet potato, ketchup, and asparagus my wife and I put together.  The question is no reflection on her, I wouldn’t use a blog post like that.  I just thought, “Oh no.  That is the most boring question I’ve ever heard about God.  What am I teaching my kids about God anyway?”

Back up a few minutes.  We’re “plating” – ha!  I like that, like we’re on Chopped or something.  Anyway, Jill and I are plating the food.  And I think, “Talk to them about doing this diaper drive thing.  Read something from Luke and tie it in.”  Plating, plating.  Somewhere between the ranch and the pizza I decided, “Naw, I haven’t studied that passage good enough, I need to be sure before I say anything.  Need to do it right.”  I had been reading Luke some mornings and loved the fire under Luke for writing his letter to just one person. Continue Reading

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Baby Bootie Diaper Drive

baby booties flyer standard(1)

Is your baby’s bootie covered and clean?  Some families in Collin County can’t afford diapers.  The  Baby Booties Diaper Bank is a non-profit organization that distributes diapers, wipes, and cream to needy families in Collin County.  I will be hosting a diaper drive right after spring break leading up to Easter.  If this is something you might consider giving to, please bring by diapers (sizes 1-4 especially size 4), sealable wipes, and/or creams to my office at 6309 Preston Rd., Suite 1200 in Plano.  The marquis on the building reads “Premier Foot & Ankle” – I share office space with my wife Jill who is a podiatrist.  Or you can contact Baby Booties Diaper Bank directly at the number listed on the website link.

I think this is a great way for me and my family to get out into our community and serve others in a practical way.  I really hope you can join us!  Be looking for additional stories and posts on the Drive.

© 2014, Dean Wisdom

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Custody Issues – Kids in the Middle

Handling custody issues with an ex-partner is one of the toughest things parents face.  There’s a lot at stake including time with your child, their overall well-being, and your sanity.  Today I’ll be addressing one area – when kids get caught in the middle and three things parents can do to help.

Sadly, a child can become almost symbolic of the original fight between former spouses.  That tension gets pushed down, usually unintentionally, onto the child.

First, be aware if you see your ex-spouse in your child.  This can be challenging when a child looks like their other parent or has the same temperament.  Parents find themselves over-reacting to behavior problems in their child because it triggers a stress memory from their previous marriage.  Kids can only view our actions as directly related to themselves and don’t have the personal resources to understand a parent’s triggers. Continue Reading

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Valentine’s Special Part 3 – Making a Future Together

Making a future together as a couple and as a family starts one day at a time, one routine at a time.  These don’t have to be huge performances to mean something and create memories.  The everyday routines and rituals couples have together are how they connect in small steps that lead to a lifetime of satisfaction and health.  Do your routines include each other?  Having separate routines is necessary to take care of yourself but in a couple relationship there must be routines and rituals that include each other and if there are kids, additional routines that include all members of the family.  These would be some examples: Continue Reading

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Valentine’s Special Part 2 – Understanding Your Partner’s Feelings

I’m watching the Olympics pairs skating with my wife right now.  They skate so perfectly, in unison, making it look easy and strong and graceful.  All of these incredible moves and they’re both kicking their legs at the same time, spinning together, parting and returning to each other with sensual embraces.  The passion and intensity.  They both look healthy, rested and fit.  The commentators are in awe, “Look at that elevation, it’s absolutely fantastic!  Here’s their rotation – PERFECT!  Watch their emotion and connection with each other – it’s dazzling!” Lovely bows and kisses to the cheering crowd.  Leaving the ice with roses thrown at their feet.  And, all in HD.  But this one Olympic performance did not include the years of hard work, the training, the cost, the highs and lows and disappointments in self and each other.  That’s why I also enjoy the side stories on the athletes and what their real life is like.  This is easier to identify with.  Instead of perfect feelings we see they’re human just like us.  But understanding each other’s feelings does not have to be complex. Continue Reading

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Valentine’s Special (3-part series) – #1 The Couple Friendship

This is Valentine’s week so we’ll be looking at three parts of a successful relationship:  friendship, emotions, and making a future together.   Let’s start with friendship.   (This information was adapted from Dr. John M. Gottman and Dr. Julie Gottman, Bridging the Couple Chasm, 2000-2011).

We all have stress throughout the day and week.  How we handle that affects us in our relationship.  Couples that greet each other several times a week and talk about the events of the day tend to be less lonely and are able to create buffers to their stresses.  How about the romantic spark in each other?  Humor?  Feeling heard and understood?  Dropping your guard?  Picture coming home to your castle and taking off the armor.  This is comforting, reconnects us, and makes us allies.  Talking about the events of the day also calms and prepares us to face together the demands of kids who are bringing home a busload of stress themselves.  Committed couples can even do this from a distance when one is out of town, just simply touching base with each other and giving support.  Difficulty here can cause us to feel vulnerable to the stresses we face and result in feeling disconnected from each other, disliking each other, and feeling lonely. Continue Reading

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Andrew

Play is a child’s language.  Play therapy gets to the heart of what is going for a child and helps parents understand what they are feeling.  If your child or someone you know might benefit from this kind of therapy, please contact me.  I am a Registered Play Therapist (RPT) and the only male RPT in the Plano – Frisco – Allen – Richardson – McKinney area.  See what Andrew thinks in this great video from the Association of Play Therapy.

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Valentine’s Day – Dating Your Spouse

Dating is essential to the life and longevity of a marriage.  When was the last time you and your spouse went out?  I know that prior to marriage most of us are crafting dates (or hoping for them) that are “Wow! experiences” designed to capture our prey (or get captured).  Dating does not go out of style in long-standing relationships although the nature of them does change.  It seems that dating is still that chemistry inside the institution of marriage where we return to the good manners of being men and women to each other and the values that brought us together in the first place.  That’s a good place to elaborate… first place.  Her, being first place. Continue Reading

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